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The Stages of Deployment
Did you know that many of the strange feelings you are having are normal? Below
is a timeline of the feelings you may be having and the activities you may be doing as deployment nears and on through
and after the deployment...
Pre-Deployment
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Expectation of separation (6-8 weeks prior to deployment) Some feelings:
denial, fear, anger, resentment, hurt. Activities: financial planning, car repairs, home repairs.
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Emotional withdrawal (one week prior to deployment) Some feelings:
confusion, ambivalence, anger, pulling away. Activities: talking, sharing, fighting, planning reunion
Deployment
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Emotional confusion (1-6 weeks after departure) Some feelings: sense
of abandonment, loss, emptiness, disorganization. Activities: crying, loss of sleep, loss of appetite.
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Adjustment (most of deployment) Some feelings: hope, confidence,
calm, less anger, loneliness. Activities: establishing routine, establishing communications, self-growth.
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Expectation of reunion (6-8 weeks prior to homecoming) Some feelings:
apprehension, excitement, high expectations, worry, fear. Activities: planning homecoming, cleaning, dieting.
Reunion
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Honeymoon (or...) Some feelings: euphoria, blur of excitement. Activities:
talking, re-establishing intimacy, readjusting.
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Readjustment (6-8 weeks following return) Some feelings: uncomfortable,
role confusion, satisfaction. Activities: renegotiating relationships, redefining roles, settling in.
Feelings and activites at each of these stages may be different for each of
us and that is okay.
Tips on Surviving
Separations
For Partners at Home
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Set some new goals for yourself. Lose weight, take a course at a community college,
start a new hobby, plant a garden.
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Get involved. Get a part-time job, do some volunteer work, join a family support
group (Eagles on the Homefront!).
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Plan some special outings both with your children and without.
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Make new friends. A family support group is a great place to meet new people.
Their spouses are deployed too! Find someone you can call when your feeling down or just need to talk with another adult.
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Cook yourself special meals, consisting of foods you like but your spouse doesn't really
like. Take a trip to the beauty salon, let someone pamper you.
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Weekends can sometimes seem long, when your spouse is deployed. Make plans to get
out of the house, go for a long walk, go to the park, visit a friend.
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Get a pet (after talking it over with your spouse).
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If you have a video camera, make a home movie of the kids and yourself doing everyday
things, such as cleaning the house, teenagers talking on the phone, kids playing at their sporting events.
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Take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, exercise, and some quiet time just for
you. |
